An erotic massage is a massage style that focuses on stimulating the partner’s erogenous areas to provide stress relief and promotes intimacy between the masseuse and the recipient. The aim of an erotic massage is not to orgasm (although it’s a welcome and extremely pleasant reaction), but to integrate a highly private and intimate yet relaxing experience into your life.
An erotic massage is a fantastic way to incorporate an alternative source of intimacy into a relationship and can help to re-ignite or increase the flames of chemistry. It allows both partners to experience pleasure without feeling pressured to perform. An erotic massage, also referred to as a sensual massage, is a great way to bond emotionally as well as physically with your partner.
Communication is key when it comes to an erotic massage. Because it’s so intimate, some of the shyer, more modest personalities may not feel as comfortable as the bolder people. Make sure you communicate beforehand and establish boundaries, so both you and your partner can reap the full benefits of this exploration into pleasurable intimacy.
Set the mood
Prior to the massage, make sure you set the right atmosphere first. Maintaining a sensual mood is extremely important for an erotic massage. Make sure the room is a comfortable temperature. Dim the lights (perhaps covering lamps with sheer fabric), light candles and play soft, relaxing music. The Top 40 isn’t going to cut it this time, so check out Spotify – they have some wonderful instrumentals.
Have a bath or shower together to relax your bodies and start off the erotic mood. Consider blindfolding the massage recipient because eliminating one sense intensifies the others. Think about what you’re going to wear during the massage. Ideally, the less clothing the better because it enhances the pleasurable sensations of the massage, but wear as little as you are comfortable with. Lingerie is excellent because it’s sensual but maintains some of the mysterious sexual intrigue.
Choose a massage oil that fits best to your recipient’s needs. Different oils have different purposes. For example, chamomile, jasmine and lavender are highly relaxing, sandalwood, ylang ylang and coconut smell fantastic and peppermint is great for concentration. Float the massage oil bottle in a bowl of hot water to keep it warm and always rub some oil between your palms before applying it to skin. Cold oil can cause muscle tension, which is the opposite of what you want. Warm oil feels much better.
Keep in mind that oils tend to affect the latex in condoms, so always remember to switch to sexual lubricants if you’ll be progressing to intercourse. Also, some women are more prone to urinary infections, so always wash your hands before touching the vaginal area and switch to lubricants if that’s the case.
Remember to basics
Use a mixture of basic massage techniques and erotic movements. Start with a basic full body massage to relax your partner. Have them lie on their front and always work up their body. Slowly incorporate stimulation of the erogenous areas into the massage. Remember to communicate, whether that’s verbal or non-verbal means. Check to see they are comfortable with the level of sensuality before gradually moving to another stage. Keep an eye on their breathing patterns, body language and any sounds they might make. This allows you to pay more attention to the areas that produce the most arousal.
If you want to be even more creative and take an erotic massage to another level, run your body against theirs or use your mouth or tongue to kiss, lick and stimulate your partner’s skin. You can even incorporate sex toys into the massage for additional pleasure.
Female erotic massage
Lightly stroke the breasts and nipples. Firmly knead the buttocks in a n outward circular motion. Slide your hands down her body and slowly and softly stroke the areas around the genitals. This will build up her anticipation. Once she’s aroused, slowly begin massaging the genitals.
If she’s not producing enough lubrication, feel free to use sexual lubricant. Use one hand to slowly caress her body and the other to lightly rub up and down her vulva. Gently stroke the labial lips and begin applying small amounts of pressure. Once she starts to secrete lubrication, begin clitoral stimulation. Start off lightly and slowly increase pressure in accordance to her reactions. Don’t be shy to ask your partner for feedback and help if you need it. Stroke the clitoris in a circular motion and then switch a figure eight. Keep up a steady rhythm. If she reaches climax, move onto the labia as the clitoris will be quite sensitive and any more stimulation will cause her discomfort.
Once she’s completely aroused, begin to explore inside her. Insert a finger and point upwards towards the pubic bone with your palm facing up. Gently stroke the G-spot, using a ‘come here’ motion. Don’t just move your fingers in and out of her – gently caress the walls. You can continue stimulating her clitoris with your other hand.
Once finished, allow her to relax peacefully.
Male erotic massage
Apply lubricant to your hands and gently rub it onto the penis and testicles area. Make sure you pay attention to your partner’s reactions so you know when you slow down just before they ejaculate. Remind your partner to breathe in order to help resist the urge to climax. Prolonging a male orgasm is key for an erotic massage because it extends the pleasure and allows for a more intense and deeper orgasm.
The penis may alternate between going hard and soft. Don’t worry – this is totally normal and is a highly desirable outcome of the experience.
Start by massaging the testicles and scrotum. Be gentle. Then slowly move onto the perineum (area between the testicles and the anus) with one hand while the other massages the pubic area. Then, moving your fingertips in light circles, move closer and closer until you’re touching the penis. Begin massaging the shaft, taking care to vary the pressure and speed. Softly squeeze the base of the penis, quickly slide it upwards and off. Alternate hands and repeat this several times before reversing the direction of the strokes. Then grasp the head and shaft, and massage in gentle twisting motions.
Now move onto the prostate area. Look for a small indent in the perineum area. Gently stroke your fingers back and forth this region until it softens. When he nears ejaculation, lightly push on this indent to enhance his orgasm. As the massage draws to a close, focus on a few strokes that he finds most pleasurable. Then, allow him to rest and bask in the relaxing post-orgasm glow.
Last minute tips
Caress, don’t just touch for maximum pleasure
Alternate pressures for example, use gentle fingertips and more vigorous strokes
Communicate with your partner – ask them what they want and like
Don’t overlook body language
Relax and let go
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